Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Sucking it in Wearing Sweat Pants!

How depressing it that? OMG!
I was so excited last week at the doctor's office when my weight was down 15 pounds from my visit in September. Shocked that I had shed that much, but, at the same time realized it was a no-brainer, as I was there back then to get my possessed thyroid under control.
So now, as I hold my breath in elastic waist, I ponder, how did I stuff this, plus the equivalent of two average sized bowling balls, into my size 7, non-elastic, denim jeans? How did I not, succumb to the inevitable pressure on my diaphragm, and, pass completely out?
That question remains a mystery but I did ask my doctor at my visit last week the easy question, “Now that my thyroid has been exorcized and is controlled by daily meds, how do I shed the rest of this weight?”
“The diabetic diet is the best and easiest to follow”.
“Really?” I know I sounded excited.
He sugar-coated and I am paraphrasing. No sugar. No bread. No potatoes. No rice.
What’s left?
“Protein,” he said. “Cut the fat off meat and eat lots of veggies.”
“Oh yeah”, I said. ”I love salads and, of course, there’s fruit.”
“Oh, watch salad,” he said. “Limit cheese and dressing. And fruit does contain sugar. Limit yourself.”
Feeling defeated that he had taken away my favorite parts of dieting, I asked about exercise. Yes, I am a glutton in all realms and that day, I was a glutton for punishment.
“Aerobic is best; and the best of the best is running.”
Now, I may run things through my mind, run to the store, or run out of something, but I am sitting at my desk, behind the wheel of my car, or looking in the fridge at the time. All kidding aside-I don’t run!
“20 minutes of running and you can eat whatever you want.” He added.
I like my doctor. He’s a nice guy. I didn’t like him that day.
“Just give it a shot. Let’s get your BMI down 5%. Blood pressure is on target. Shoot for 3 days a week on the exercise. We’ll follow up in 6 months.”
Then he sent me to be jabbed in the arm by a new nurse with little blood drawing experience, charged me $125 dollars, and requested a THREE month follow-up.
Before I got to the safety of my car, he bombarded me with the ultimate deal breaker, in our otherwise excellent relationship, “How ya doing on smoking? We need to address that soon.”
So, now a week later, as I sit here holding in my breath in sweat pants that, in this 80+ degree heat, have earned their name well; sipping on a large Dr. Pepper; smoking an unheard of quanity of cigarettes, I am wondering…
What’s for dinner?

Until next time,

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