Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Another Day in the Life of Me...

Okay, so I promised awhile back that these blogs would start being meaningful or did I say purposeful...is that a word? Is there a difference. I think I meant they would basically get better and not just be rambling. I lied.
I ramble and that is all there is to it. It's a flaw.
So, what is my day like? Well, the sun is out finally which is very welcome. Spring is finally here. I am anxious to plant my flowers and start mowing the grass. I won't have a vegetable garden this year, which saddens me. Okay, maybe I will. Just a few tomato plants and maybe some peppers. Yes, that I will do. Just a small one.
But, back to today.
I am at odds with myself over weight. I did so well over the winter, watching it and making sure I didn't pack on those holiday pounds. I was so proud. And then January came. And I left my job. I started writing full time and OMG...freelance writer weight gain-who knew? It is not pretty. Now, my kids and my friends say oh seriously you look fine. WHO are they kidding? So, I am TRYING to lose it.
It's about 15 pounds so it isn't that bad but why is it those extra pounds all go to the same place? You know, spread out a bit wouldn't be so bad. Like 5 in the belly, 5 in the back side and then split the other five up between the "girls"...I could have lived with that...but noooooo....it is all right in the gut! Damn!
So, now I deal with how to hide it. Can't wear sweatshirts in the high 60's, can't not or people look like "damn, moooooove over". So, I wing it while trying to figure out how to lose it.
So, I stop drinking pop. No more Dr. Pepper...sadness! Then I try to always eat breakfast...Special K and bananas. Not bad. Then I bring on the water. I drink a lot of water anyway so drinking even more...a struggle. Then I try cooking differently and the kids go..."WHAT is THAT?" It's brocolli I reply. They order pizza! NICE!
Then, I try exercising. I hate sit ups-they hurt my back. I hate stair climbing-it hurts my knees. I walk. There we go. Not bad but boring! I get an mp3 player. Aretha, The Beatles, KC and the Sunshine Band...great for walking. Then it rains for 3 days. CRAP!
I have about 24 days to lose this weight. I am going on vacation and I want to look and feel great. I do not at this weight. I have to get tough. I have to get serious! I have to go where all women dread.....
JANE FONDA! OMG! She is vicious! She is drastic! The woman is HITLER!
I will start tomorrow! LOL!!
Hey, it's out of the VCR cabinet!(What can I say-it's an old one! LOL)
But that is the plan. Jane everyday!
For now though, I am gonna go walk. It's a nice day and the kids are here with the grandbaby and she wants to go to the park. And she looks adorable at the park...I will show you a pic....see ain't she the cutest? Yep, she sure is. So, off to the park we go. It's a good mile from the house so get me a good little walk in.
Have a great day.
Until next time,

Is There Life Out There.....

The question of the day for me...Is there life out there? That is a loaded topic and can mean so many things. No, not really. It is pretty simple, isn't it?
I'm pretty new here, can ya tell? Crap! Newbies! Tourists! Nothing like coming in here with my Hawaiian print button up, wearing my camera around my neck, huh? Oh well, now that you know, I can just move on and enlighten you with what I commonly refer to as, rambling...babbling. i do that a lot just to warn ya. It's my way of coping with boredom, writer's block, happiness, sadness....life!

I am a writer. I think I have already covered that. Probably can't tell by the misuse of words in this blog. The unorganized structure and complete destruction of the English language, made all my teachers cringe. I know. Have struggled with that for a long time. Passive voice! Run-on sentences. Incomplete sentences. OMG! I know! But, doesn't change it. I am a writer.
Currently writing the book that has been in my head for 25 years. Six chapters in and I call myself a writer. That doesn't matter. Called myself that when they were just annoying distractions in my head.
So, lets see...what else defines me? Oh, that is awful. Defines me? Where did that come from? WOW! How about what about me annoys my children? Yeah, that is better. Annoys them and makes them laugh. EVEN BETTER!! Here goes:
I am easy as hell to scare, trick, and make fun of. Jokes about age, not having my own teeth and missing out on a corn dog at last years local carnival are the favorites. So, from that you know I am not a young (under 30) and I don't have my own teeth (I do have teeth though so it isn't all bad) and we have a local carnival every year. (truth is I live for one of their corn dogs and we were flooded out and the carnival left before I got one...it was devastating to me) And if you are really paying attention, you know I have children and I live in the Midwest. (did you catch that one?)
They think I am a geek because I love to learn-my son asked me the difference between DNA and RNA just so he could laugh and tell me I should not know that. I smoke too much and my daughter hates it. I love to write and my other daughter loves it! I always cut my hair and expect them to love it when I hate it. I rearrange the furniture all the time and make two of my sons help. I can remember most any phone number I have ever seen and know the numbers to all local pizza places, 3 convenient stores, Kmart, the local grocery store, Walmart and the place my 2nd husband worked 15 years ago. NOW, out of that you should have gotten that I smoke, order pizza and I have been married at least twice. I have at least two daughters and at least 3 sons. You could conclude that my hair isn't long but not real short either. I am at least semi intelligent (and just so you know, I only knew 2 of the 3 differences between DNA and RNA).
They love it when they make me laugh so hard I cry and they giggle when I cry during sad movies. They don't understand how sad Frosty the Snowman really is! That little Karen sobbing over that puddle of water....oh! Gets me every time. Or when Dorothy is about to get into that hot air baloon and she has to say goodbye and she looks at the Scarecrow...."....miss you most of all" OH...UGH! What a tear jerker. Or when Demi Moore looks into the light and Patrick Swayze is there all gold and glittery....and he tells her he loves her and with that tear rolling down her cheek....."Ditto"....Damn! This list could go on and on.
From that you should have gathered that I am a sentimental sort who loves movies; Ghost and The Wizard of Oz being two of my favorites, but that there are many more. You may have suspected that I like older movies and you would be correct. You may also think that I am a movie quote junkie and again you would be correct. Very good. No points lost if you missed that. No points given if you got it. Cool game, huh?
I will have to ask the kids if there is more they love and don't. We will enjoy going over the list. I will let you know what we come up with.
From that you should get that my kids and I best friends and we love games. Even ones we make up. My son and I played Radar cop last night. Sit on dark street and turn your lights on right as cars pass to watch them hit their brakes---funny shit!!
Okay will let you know if they come up with anything else. My friends would be good ones for this game too. My one friend told me last week her favorite thing about me is my laugh. Isn't that funny? The fact that I am charming, intelligent, loyal, funny, nice, and really pretty doesn't do it for her...no it's my laugh! Go figure!
From that you should have got that I am REALLY FUNNY!!

Until next time

Tribute to a friend

There is one thing that a woman loves; a man who knows who he is, a man who isn't afraid of who he is and a man who tells her what he wants her to know. This kind of man would never grow old!

I know this man. And he is brilliant in his mind. He recalls poems from his past as if reading them right from a book in front of him, but there is no book. These verses in his mind are about trees and sunsets, waves and brooks. Great loves of late and sad losses of love. They are rich in detail and sweet with sentiment. His voice is gruff but his words are soft. He doesn't care who hears him speak of things so beautiful or sweet; loving or free. He doesn't care if it makes him appear less of a man or not tough enough.

Tonight, he sat with me. We spoke of love and poetry. He smiled when I spoke to him and his eyes had a glimmer, a sparkle that, so often, we miss in men. He put his arm around me and told me he loved the way I loved him. He looked into my eyes and told me he would love to spend the evening with me.

And I smiled. I couldn't help but smile. He then laughed softly and said "you are so very pretty. Why are you so pretty?" I had no answer, but before I could speak, he simply asked me to take him home. I honored that request and pushed his wheelchair through the nursing home halls to the room that he called "home".

His room is small and almost barren compared to the life he has lived. He has had a life full of wonder and amazement. Being a small town girl from Iowa, his life has been far more amazing than I could ever imagine. But, in a few short sentences, he made me feel more amazing than if I were born royalty.

To him, I am not complicated or confusing. And if I am, he simply looked beyond that and told me what he wanted me to know. He knows who is, he isn't afraid of who he is and in December...he will turn 100.

Suddenly, that no longer seems old to me!

This was written last year for a dear friend of mine. He did in fact turn 100 years old that December and told us all he didn't feel 100. He found it hard to believe. Sadly, shortly after that, he quietly passed away as he slept. I will never forget my friend. And he was right, I really did love him.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Writer's Block and Denial...

So, it's not writer's block. That is all I keep saying. And it's not. HA! But yet, my "book" has sat for a week now, without one word being written in it. I know what is going to happen next...I have the first few sentences ready and know once they are written, the rest will flow. But, why haven't I written them?
Oh, I have excuses. I claim there are things I have to change first. I need to know time line and crap...whatever! I know the timeline. I know that my character is about to get on a bus with her hippy cousins and travel to a destination that will enlighten, change, and envelop her. She will grow in such a way that it will make her the person she will be for the rest of her life. WHY do I fear that? Is it even possible to fear for a fictional character? And yes, she is fictional. I suppose parts of her are me, but she is part my sister, my friend, my daughters...she is every young girl I have ever met all rolled into one.
This is the part of the book I have been most excited about. This is the part that I have strived to get to. This is the part I have talked about. "Once she is on the bus...it will be great. I won't be able to stop." Is that it? There is a lot that is going to happen now. She is going to meet new people...one in particular. One that will change her life. Maybe that is it. This new character. No, I love the new character she is going to meet. Perhaps I fear the reader won't feel that. Perhaps I worry I will not be able to write this new character with the amount of love necessary. No, I don't think that is it at all.
Well, now my train of thought has stopped again. This is what happens...I am going going and then...poof-stop! Dang it. I need to move my computer into the sun room. The basement was great for isolation in the beginning but now I need sun. And coffee. My coffee pot is upstairs. I actually brought a small one down here but the water is upstairs...what was I thinking. HA!
Okay, now I am babbling. I tend to do that. Ramble. Babble. It's a way to clear my head, I guess. My friends find it annoying. So did all my husbands. HA HA!! That little piece of information could have probably been left unsaid. And it's actually untrue. My husbands found that to be cute. I found THEM to be annoying. But that is a blog all on it's own and someday I may write it...when I am in the mood for a good laugh...of course My Three Stooges has already been done. I will have to call it something else.
Can't really think about a title for that one right now...don't have a title for the current one yet. Some floating around in my head...one just hasn't knocked me off my chair though. Got the second book title. Yeah, there is a second one in my head. That kinda sucks since I started writing this one to get it out of there. I don't think it will stop now. Ideas just keep floating around up there. Wouldn't be bad but it needs to start paying the bills. Maybe I will win the lottery. Not the way to think, right? It will start paying the bills! Soon! Yes, it will!! Maybe that is the problem. I need to believe that. I used to. I could be on to something here.
Hmmm...I do believe I have reached a conclusion. THIS will pay the bills! THIS is what I supposed to be doing!
Gotta go....I got a bus to catch!!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

My Daughter...Songwriter, singer, and poet.

My daughter...

Songwriter, singer, poet. She asked me to take her senior pictures. I asked her what she wanted them to say about her. She didn't know exactly but she knew she wanted her guitar in them.
We went to a local park and in all it's beauty, even in this dismal early spring, we could not convey what she wanted to say. We captured awesome shots, submerged in the pines, with sunlight trickling through onto her porcelain skin, reflecting in her crystal blue eyes, but yet none said "this is me!" We had the mighty Mississippi as a breathtaking backdrop, us perched high enough to be the eagles themselves, soaring out into the never ending blue sky. Still, not enough.
Her guitar as her sidekick, laughing, posing, smiling, serious, she tried hard to tell me what she wanted. I changed lenses, softened shots, widened them, and took close-ups; I tried it all.
We left the park and headed to lunch; perhaps she could talk me through it and in some part of conversation with her, I could understand.
I had asked her what her music made her feel like. She didn't have a word for it. I told her, for me, it symbolized life and I told her death was part of life and asked her if she thought it would be morbid to take some of her in the cemetery. She was okay with it. On the way there, we passed the cemetery her grandfather is layed to rest. He, too, was a singer and a guitar player. I went there.
This is a shot we got. She loved it. This is what she feels like when she sings. She sings for every person in her life, past or present.
She sang for him while we were there. She sounded better than ever. We are going back today. She wants close-ups.
This says "This is my daughter;song writer, singer, poet."

Sunday, March 7, 2010

still figuring this out...

My original intention to starting this blog was interaction. I was looking for a site that had members and one could view and comment and interact with each other. It seems this is that but then again, not. I can not seem to find the place to go and search others posts. There are a few featured, it seems, but not a huge selection. Word of mouth then?
My dad belongs to a blog site where there is much interaction and he has acquired quite a few friends there. I hope this is as such and will one day serve as my spot for friends. I was going to join the one my father is on, but decided he needed his space for speaking without "his daughter being in the room", so to speak.
My kids were mad when I got a myspace...and again when I got a facebook. They are pleased I am here now, even though I still frequent facebook.
This is more for venting...creative expression...real conversation about real things and not just "feed my farm animals". For those of you who don't frequent facebook, just ignore that and trust that you don't wanna know.
I am off again in search of life out there. Can ya hear me now? Is there life out there?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

The Colorado Sky...

You may have noticed the title and thought, Hey, thought this girl is from Iowa. And you would be right. I was, however, in Colorado this past October and took this shot outside my mom's back door. Thought it was beautiful and decided to share it. I have more that I will share from time to time.
I guess I can add photography to my list of interests. I have quite a few nice nature shots. It's all for fun. Plan on getting a different camera and will be testing it out so will probably be annoying for a spell...THAT sounded okie...I really don't talk like that.
That's all for now. One of these days, my blogs will have purpose. I promise.

Oreo's Don't Bounce!

I chose that title because I did not have another one. I actually stole that from my son. It's a funny little story and ya probably had to be there but it's his favorite quote now. All the kids were sitting around chatting and what not and my son, who tends to wander in his thoughts and his ability to listen, suddenly exclaimed, "Oreo's don't bounce!" He, in his pre-occupation, actually thought one of his siblings had said this and he felt the responsibility to correct them. No one to this day has been able to figure out what was actually said, because everybody cracked up and by the time they dried their tears, not one could remember what they were talking about. So, that's my funny little, you had to be there, story.
Now...for this blog. There is no reason for it. There is no point to it. You will probably not learn a thing from it and will end up saying..."well, that is 12 1/2 minutes I will never get back" but...well actually, but nothing.
Here is my last 24 hours...
Babysat my 5 year old granddaughter, who in her own innocent way, has the mind of a 24 year old, who told me the girl on the TV was HOT!, the voices in her ear tells her she is ugly, and informed me she must let her feet have fresh air or, she doesn't know HOW, but she is sure they will die without it. I made chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, a sash with sticky letters, spelling out I love mommy and i love daddy. Went to Long John Silvers and experienced an odd powdery substance coming out of the salt shaker so returned my food and asked they make fresh, which they did, went through Taco Bell drive thru to accommodate my youngest son who wanted a cheesy gordida crunch, stopped for cigs, screamed at my car when it lost all power after just putting in a new $115 battery, figured out it is in fact the alternator that is defective, screamed at my car again, made up with my car and asked that it please forgive me and start again, drank a pot of coffee, ate some of the mac and cheese I made, found someone to fix my car, checked out ordering flowers for an aunt who is in a nursing home, called to see what movies are playing, called my brother to tell him my car is down again and we can't go bowling tonight, silently cheered that I don't have to go bowling tonight, wished that I was going somewhere tonight, smiled when my daughter said my hair looks really good, checked and replied to 3 emails, checked my facebook and accepted a couple new friend requests, felt really old when I saw a picture of an old friends little brother who is now a grown man, sent my sister a pic of this now grown man to make her feel old as well, watched Sleepless in Seattle, washed a load of laundry, read a card from a friend, put my make up on, did my hair, realized these are in no particular order, called my son, texted my other son, chatted with my daughter, called a friend, called the auto parts store, wrote down the address to the nursing home so I can send flowers, and contemplated writing here or not.
I think that sums it up. Kind of a slow day...LOL!
Well, some of that happened last night...this was a 24 hour recap. Oh I forgot sleeping. I did sleep for about 6 hours. And drank 5 or 6 bottles of water. I need to go get another one now. I drink a lot of water.
I promise the blogs won't always be like this. Some will be worse!
Thanks for stopping by.

Friday, March 5, 2010

A First Blog: Just a Few Basics

A description of self? Or a description of blog? I will go with self as blogs will vary.
I may ,as well, in time, but right now, I am very simple.
Mother, daughter, sister, friend. Add to that, granddaughter, niece, aunt, cousin. Add a splash of Grammy and you got me.
Writer, poet, karaoke singer and trivia buff.
Reading, writing, fishing, camping, walking, crafts and being with family and friends.
All in all, I have good hair days and bad, my weight goes up and down 10 pounds at it's own leasure, I tend to smoke too much and probably drink too little. I am writing my first novel. I love coffee to the point of obsession.
I don't believe in friends with benefits, online love, or walmart's self checkout lanes. I do believe in soulmates, destiny and Santa. I believe in God and talk to him frequently.
I will be funny and serious. Intelligent and not. I don't like the word stupid and I'm not dumb so there you have it.
My blog site is for all. I enjoy interaction and thrive for it at times.
This blog will be all of me. All my personalities...all rolled into one! How fun!
Hope it's entertaining. Full of knowledge, insight, humor and friendship.
Nice meeting you.