Where's My Creative Flow?

Write.
File. Select all. Delete.
Write.
Repeat.
What is wrong with my creative flow? Where are my words of wisdom? Humor? New thought provoking posts, are empty pages or lonely drafts, unseen by others and taunting to me.
There was one about my Princess status being revoked, complete with my utter dismay, chronological analyzation, and a major bashing of all known "Princes"...respect for my male followers put that one on the "Save for Later" list.
The one about my job and the amount of testosterone I am amid daily, comparing it to marriage, due to my need for medication and the desire to throw heavy objects, was completely deleted as it was somewhat incriminating and, while, hysterically funny, not a good idea-I still work there!
And the one about my sister and her recent dealing with marital abandonment and complete disrespect by her husband of 22 years, my dumb-ass brother in law, What's His Face, is being saved and turned into a private, personal email that I will send when the time is right.
So, what's left?
Well, there is Christmas and the Santa debate. You know the one where people don't believe. I mean, come on. That notion that the parents do the gifts and eat the cookies. That can't be right. My parents would NOT come into my house in the middle of the night, leave presents under the tree and eat the cookies. They just wouldn't DO that. Besides, we go to their house and exchange gifts. They don't need to do it in secret. So, that idea just doesn't hold water. So, that post didn't either. It's an open and shut case! Santa is real!


So, that leaves the stand by post for end of year creative drought....

Things to Accomplish in 2012

Most lists I have seen have 100.  However, due to a severe and chronic case of procrastination, I will start with 10. These are in no particular order...

Go on a Real Date. (*Note: Going to the corner bar, the drive-thru at McDonalds or running to Kmart is NOT a date!)
Organize the House (this could take most of 2012 and should not be taken lightly or seriously...a 2-1/2- year-old lives here with her 18-year-old father!)
Stop Smoking (YEAH....there is the humor!)
Lose Weight (this would be weight gained by trying/accomplishing the above goal! Thinking ahead here!)
Write More (Write in this blog, expand on novel #2, finish a couple short stories, catch up on letters to family/friends, emails, notes to the kids, and write and send a letter to Santa to thank him!)
Smile More at the People I Meet. After all, I paid a lot of money for these teeth....May as well show 'em off!
Regain Princess Status...can be done with a pair fancy shoes, a shiny diamond necklace, and a new sparkly dress! Or, according to my granddaughter, I can marry a Prince...I'll take the shoes!
Redecorate My Kitchen Can you say fire engine red microwave?
Take Myself on a Date. (*Note: Going to the corner bar, the drive-thru at McDonalds or running to Kmart IS a date!)
Sleep Sounder, Dream Bigger, Live Fuller, Eat Better, Love Unconditionally, and Always, and I mean ALWAYS, Have an Alibi!

Write.
File. Select all. Post
Write.
Repeat.

Until Next Time,
Kimberly

Top Ten Defining Moments

I have this friend. She is amazing beyond words. I laugh so hard my face hurts for days. And she makes me think. She is a therapist so I get a lot of free counseling. LOL!
She asked me the other day to come up with my ten most defining moments. Can you believe that? In all my life, with 3 ex-husbands, five children, 3 grandchildren and oodles of strangeness in my head, she wants me to come up with only 10 defining moments.
Of course, at first thought, I was down to five as the births of my children would have to be there. Well, I thought about it and decided they were not going to be on this list. (YIKES!)
While each one is special in their own right and each birth unique, those moments did not define me. As I became a mother long before their birth. Which took me to my first defining moment. Now, most of these are just in the order I thought of them, or in the order I want to talk about them. They are not chronological nor in order of importance. Except maybe this first one….


#1 When I told my father I was having my first child
It was that moment in time that I felt like a mother. He was so happy and so proud. He picked me up and twirled me around. At that very moment, I knew I was doing something phenomenal! He made me feel like that. I was going to be a mother. And my father will say that is the noblest job in the world. He thinks mothers rank right up there with God, The President, and Stan Musical. Yes, Stan the Man. When he asked when I was due and I replied with “April 25th” He exclaimed, “A SPRING TRAINING BABY!” Definitely, my most defining moment!
Now, in no particular order or importance!

~~When my husband said he didn’t know if he loved me.
That’s all there is to that one. At the time, it was horrifying. Now, I am just grateful!

~~When I wrote THE END on Just Sippy
As a writer, there have many attempts at “the book”. When I started Just Sippy I was at work and the first line came to my head. I immediately wrote it down as a text in my phone. When I went home that night and put it into the computer; I had almost the whole first chapter done that night. I wrote the next day and the next. I just knew. I knew this was the one. I told my mom and my kids. I told my dad. And my friends. For the next several months, they agonized while I wrote and read to them. Finally my son said, I don’t want to know any more. Wait til it’s done. Then I really knew. I started sending chapters to my mom and sister. They were begging for more. I struggled over time lines and events. I re-wrote. Changed the storyline twice. And then one day, it just clicked. Fell into place and I wrote THE END. My friend walked into my office just as I did it and I told her. She jumped up and down and then I cried. It was done. Bittersweet I think as I had spent so much time with my characters, they had become family. It was hard to not be with them everyday.
Until I found a publisher, of course, and the word “edit” entered the picture. Welcome back, guys! HA! Enter my next great defining moment

~~When I found out Just Sippy was going to be published.
Enough said really. Can’t put it into words. Seeing it out there. Hearing people say they loved it. There are no words. The moments continue to be defining! I am growing and learning more each and every day more of what makes me who I am and who I have yet to become.

~~The day my grandmother died.
This would be my maternal grandmother. Since I was the product of a teen pregnancy, my maternal grandmother and I were very close. I spent a lot of time with her and my grandfather. She always had heart trouble but as a child I was unaware. I thought ALL grandma’s had those little white pills. She died suddenly one Sunday night when I was 14. I remember my mother running out of the house and I knew something was wrong. She came home late that night and told me she had died. It was the first time someone close to me passed away. I felt so bad for my grandfather as he was just so sad. He and I became closer after that. I felt the need to take care of him. Enter my need to “fix” everything maybe.

~~ The day my brother said “I’m not retarded anymore”
My brother, diagnosed with cerebral palsy and mild retardation at 18 months old, is my best bud! Always has been my shadow. Two years younger I taught him to walk, dress himself, and dance. He has always been there in my life. We never made him feel incapable of doing something. He was always told he could do anything. When he was little he wore a helmet to protect his head from falls. He was never allowed to get up and walk without it. I remember one day when we were about 13 and 15, he was sitting on the couch and he just took his helmet off and said “I am not retarded anymore.” I didn’t think he even knew the word “retarded” as I myself hated it. (Punched a kid once but that is another story). Mom and I both looked at him and Mom asked, “What are you?” Joe just looked at us and said “Just regular”. We laughed and laughed about that. To this day, I feel like we coined the phrase “regular Joe”. And from that day on, Joe was just regular. He never wore that helmet again. He had to do chores and make his own bed. Today, he lives in his own apartment , pays his own bills, and attends and plays in the National Checker Tournament sponsored by the American Checker Federation every year. Just a regular Joe.

~~ When I left home at 18
This one is a given, I think. Everyone probably considers leaving home a defining moment. But, I was 18 and had just graduated high school; As valedictorian, I was definitely heading to college. Nope. I shocked my entire graduating class and my parents by leaving California and moving back to my hometown in Iowa. You know…the “I’m taking a year off to find myself”. Without a plan or a job, I moved in with my grandfather. Within a year, I was married. I didn’t attend college until I was well into my 30’s. **NOTE TO SENIORS-Do NOT take a year off!! GO TO COLLEGE NOW!

~~The day my Dad said the words “I have cancer”
This was almost 13 years ago. Those words will never erase from my memory. They resonate in my mind; a permanent stamp in my grey matter. The cancer, found in his mouth was renal cell carcinoma, which if you know anything at all about cancer, that means metastatic cancer, or MOVED from one place to another-in his case kidney to mouth. This was NOT good! He underwent surgery to remove the kidney and an adrenal gland. Years of medicine. He got supper skinny. He got sick again. We had a doctor error. Which led to REALLY REALLY sick! Well, today, Dad still says “I have cancer”. Yes, he is still with us. Still fighting the big fight. It has spread now to other places and he has given all the organs he can. Right now, we are winning with medicine! He can be found handing out cold beer every Wednesday night at our local VFW, telling stories and perfecting the art of making a wicked Shirley Temple. He writes too. He has published 3 of them; Zapata's Horse, Ogallala:The Rise of Morning Sun, and The Minimal Man, all available on Amazon! http://amzn.to/lDQJiI There’s your plug, Dad! I love you!

~~SOLD OUT on Amazon
Self explanatory! And yes, THEY ARE GETTING MORE!! http://amzn.to/jHmtNN

~~Having grandchildren
How much more defined can you be? There really isn’t anything better than when a little mini person calls you Grammy? Or Mimi. Those are my names anyway and it ROCKS! And no, it doesn’t make me feel old at all!!! My son turning 30 in a couple years---yeah, that might!

Okay, so there you have it. My Top Ten Defining Moments. What are yours? This is not as easy as it seems. It is actually quite hard and I will think about it for days and wish I would have put something else on it. There are more moments that have defined me and they are either too personal, too sad, too embarrassing, or not suitable for children. HA!
So, get to it. Give me yours. Comment here or send me a link to your blog about it.
Until next time
Kimberly

I Need To Get Out More....

Just spent some time reading all of my posts. I really need to get out more.LOL!
I realized I promised a book cover and never posted so I will this time. ROCKS, doesn't it? The book has changed my world. I am not famous. I am not rich...looking for a job, in fact. (At least until Ellen calls....LOL) And it isn't on the shelves at K-Mart, although it is a few local stores and quite a few places in Colorado. I am more known there than in my home town...HA HA!
There is big news brewing though....keeping it under my hat for now but it is BIG! I am excited about it.
I'm also excited about the Royal Wedding though, too, so don't order balloons yet.
My kids thought I was silly for watching the Royal Wedding that started at 3 am my time. I tried to tell them it was crazy not to, but they just didn't get it. Guess I am just a sucker for romance and royality. It was worth it!
Okay, well I have already posted today and quite frankly, need to be doing something outside. Three weeks of rain and clouds....I NEED THE SUN that is shining today.
Just wanted to post the cover...

Will search my day for a topic for tomorrow....

Until tomorrow,
Kimberly

Now is just the beginning...

I FOUND A PUBLISHER!!!

Looks like it is going to be a reality. I called on an artist to start the cover design and I am in final final edit. I have business cards on the way that say Author under my name and am waiting to hear the words "deadline". This is all very dreamlike.

So, now what? Yeah, now what? Have people asking when and what now and I don't know.

I don't know when or how or what.
I don't know any more than I did before.
It's crazy that you think writing is the hard part. Yeah, that is so not true.

Writing was the easy part. Now, is when the real work begins.

Now is just the beginning!

Until next time.
Casey

PS....ironic that no one but I reads this....really hope it's not a sign. HA!

What Now?

Well...the results are in!

The "in-house" critic called it "the best story she has ever read" and my sister has not "been this sucked in to a story since The Shack" and also sent me the most touching email ever about the way it made her feel, think, cry and laugh. I am still in the "oh my god" phase of this positive feedback.

My best friend has been reading slowly but did, in fact, blow up my phone for the next chapters. My "northern" best friend also has it but I have not heard any feedback yet...he is, however, a city slicker and probably busy with the night life. I will wait patiently.....LIE...I will text him today!

The kids have begun....they like it, but have not had that "can't put in down...OMG MOM! This is unbelievable!" reviews I was hoping for. A neighbor of my mom's is going to read it, my niece will read and another friend and her daughter will read next week when they return from vacation.
Those reviews will be honest as they do not know the hidden references to my real life that serve as memory or humor to my sister or mom. I wonder if those inferences made it more entertaining for my close family?

But, aside from the others, my dad also has it. Now, he is forgetful so it may take awhile for him to remember he has it. He is also tired and naps alot due to his cancer fighting medications. But, he is also a writer and busy with writing his latest venture, which is about baseball so he is passionate, excited and consumed with finishing it.

But, his review is also important for me...because of his writing, but also, because of his view on the things I wrote about....family, heritage, music, love, God, loss, friendship, and life.

This list could go on and on and be filled with people I want to read the story...I want the world to read it. How do I go about doing that? I have checked into some of it and it seems like a dead-end road. There must be a publisher out there though, looking for this kind of story. I have faith that there is. And I have faith I will find them.

What now?
Re-edit over and over while I look for a publisher to read it?
Keep my head up...
Stay positive.....
Pray......
Have faith....
Maybe I will call Oprah....LOL!

Until next time
Casey

The FINAL edit!

WOW!
It's been a long time since I last wrote here. Sorry about that.

My book is in final edit. That is such a good feeling. I sent the first six chapters to my "in house" editor. My lifelong critic of fashion, hair styles and boy choices. My forever critic of room cleaning, mess making and long distance phone calling. My best critic and my worst, all in one....my mother.

She loves it!
Now, I hear you all now. "Of course, she loves it! She's your mother!"
You have to know the woman. She is by far, honest in everything. Even when it comes to me.
But, it is more than that. This is a true success story. An amazing feat of literary success in the hands of a woman who can't make it through the opening credits of a movie and must "read" books on cassettes in order to make it to chapter 2 , as in her approaching destiny of pre-retirement, falls asleep as soon as she stops moving and the cat jumps on her lap.
She made it through SIX CHAPTERS! This is great news.

My sister also has the first six chapters. Now she is no critic of me at all. Not even slightly. She is all pro-me. But, honest as well. And the most that may surface is her inability to understand it due to lack of time in her "post-closing, current re-do and pre-equity phase" of the new house, or the inability to focus on it in her "got two kids, a husband, a cat and dog, not to mention a new pool" life. I won't hold it against her.
Now, if she takes the time to text or call instead of email...I may faint right on the spot.

The last chapters will be edited and ready by the week's end. Two of which will be emailed to mother tomorrow so she can stop bugging me about them and catch a nap.

What to do after that, I do not know.
My best friend has six chapters as well. Her honesty in most of life true. But I do not think she will critique. She will be calm. And she will say she likes it. I don't look for her to be blowin' up my phone for more chapters though. She is a book expert and has read the best. Her interest will falter quickly, I am sure. I will be replaced by Alex Cross by Chapter 4. I don't feel bad about that at all. I am no James Patterson!

How do the unknown become known? How do the inexperienced get experience? The un-agented get agented? The unpublished become published. I do not have those answers. Not even sure those are the right questions.

And I am not out to make a million. Or even be famous. I just want people to read it.

But, until then, I will finish the final edit. I will celebrate when that is done and I can click PRINT.
And then I will sit and look at the 100-plus pages of double spaced literary accomplishment and say "what now?".
That is the right question.

Until next time.
Casey

Is There Life Out There.....

The question of the day for me...Is there life out there? That is a loaded topic and can mean so many things. No, not really. It is pretty simple, isn't it?
I'm pretty new here, can ya tell? Crap! Newbies! Tourists! Nothing like coming in here with my Hawaiian print button up, wearing my camera around my neck, huh? Oh well, now that you know, I can just move on and enlighten you with what I commonly refer to as, rambling...babbling. i do that a lot just to warn ya. It's my way of coping with boredom, writer's block, happiness, sadness....life!

I am a writer. I think I have already covered that. Probably can't tell by the misuse of words in this blog. The unorganized structure and complete destruction of the English language, made all my teachers cringe. I know. Have struggled with that for a long time. Passive voice! Run-on sentences. Incomplete sentences. OMG! I know! But, doesn't change it. I am a writer.
Currently writing the book that has been in my head for 25 years. Six chapters in and I call myself a writer. That doesn't matter. Called myself that when they were just annoying distractions in my head.
So, lets see...what else defines me? Oh, that is awful. Defines me? Where did that come from? WOW! How about what about me annoys my children? Yeah, that is better. Annoys them and makes them laugh. EVEN BETTER!! Here goes:
I am easy as hell to scare, trick, and make fun of. Jokes about age, not having my own teeth and missing out on a corn dog at last years local carnival are the favorites. So, from that you know I am not a young (under 30) and I don't have my own teeth (I do have teeth though so it isn't all bad) and we have a local carnival every year. (truth is I live for one of their corn dogs and we were flooded out and the carnival left before I got one...it was devastating to me) And if you are really paying attention, you know I have children and I live in the Midwest. (did you catch that one?)
They think I am a geek because I love to learn-my son asked me the difference between DNA and RNA just so he could laugh and tell me I should not know that. I smoke too much and my daughter hates it. I love to write and my other daughter loves it! I always cut my hair and expect them to love it when I hate it. I rearrange the furniture all the time and make two of my sons help. I can remember most any phone number I have ever seen and know the numbers to all local pizza places, 3 convenient stores, Kmart, the local grocery store, Walmart and the place my 2nd husband worked 15 years ago. NOW, out of that you should have gotten that I smoke, order pizza and I have been married at least twice. I have at least two daughters and at least 3 sons. You could conclude that my hair isn't long but not real short either. I am at least semi intelligent (and just so you know, I only knew 2 of the 3 differences between DNA and RNA).
They love it when they make me laugh so hard I cry and they giggle when I cry during sad movies. They don't understand how sad Frosty the Snowman really is! That little Karen sobbing over that puddle of water....oh! Gets me every time. Or when Dorothy is about to get into that hot air baloon and she has to say goodbye and she looks at the Scarecrow...."....miss you most of all" OH...UGH! What a tear jerker. Or when Demi Moore looks into the light and Patrick Swayze is there all gold and glittery....and he tells her he loves her and with that tear rolling down her cheek....."Ditto"....Damn! This list could go on and on.
From that you should have gathered that I am a sentimental sort who loves movies; Ghost and The Wizard of Oz being two of my favorites, but that there are many more. You may have suspected that I like older movies and you would be correct. You may also think that I am a movie quote junkie and again you would be correct. Very good. No points lost if you missed that. No points given if you got it. Cool game, huh?
I will have to ask the kids if there is more they love and don't. We will enjoy going over the list. I will let you know what we come up with.
From that you should get that my kids and I best friends and we love games. Even ones we make up. My son and I played Radar cop last night. Sit on dark street and turn your lights on right as cars pass to watch them hit their brakes---funny shit!!
Okay will let you know if they come up with anything else. My friends would be good ones for this game too. My one friend told me last week her favorite thing about me is my laugh. Isn't that funny? The fact that I am charming, intelligent, loyal, funny, nice, and really pretty doesn't do it for her...no it's my laugh! Go figure!
From that you should have got that I am REALLY FUNNY!!

Until next time
Casey